Sunday, 15 April 2018

Living With Anxiety


Hi guys! 


A few of you have noticed that I’ve taken a step back from social media and my blog for a while, but have no fear, I haven’t stopped! I’ve just been taking the last month to settle in to a new job and then had a bit of a hiccup, as I fell a little poorly and have been trying to deal with that over the past 2-3 weeks. Nothing to worry about, I’ll be fine - just something I need to adjust to. Alongside me being unwell, has come a lot of stress and emotion that I haven’t felt for quite some time. This has reminded me that I’ve wanted to write something about this for a while now. For those who would like to read, I’d like to open up and share a little bit more about myself!

This is by no means an easy post for me to write, to leave it here for everyone out there to read and scrutinise as they wish, but it’s something I feel very strongly about and it’s important to always keep raising awareness. I vowed from the day I started my blog to make content that people would (hopefully) find useful, and that’s my ultimate aim here. I will pre-warn you that I’m a rubbish story teller, and the more I read the post back the more I feel like it has no clear purpose of where it’s going, but I’m going to do it anyway.

To cut it short, I suffer with general anxiety disorder (GAD). It affects my daily life in ways that some people simply won’t and don’t understand, though I’m hoping my little post will help shed some light on the subject. My story here is purely personal. The way I have approached and dealt with it over the years is by no means a recommendation to anyone else because, surprise, I am not a doctor and there is no “one size fits all” approach to mental health. You just do you babes. 

 So here is an overview of anxiety according to the NHS:

Anxiety is a feeling of unease, such as worry or fear, that can be mild or severe.
 Everyone has feelings of anxiety at some point in their life – for example, you may feel worried and anxious about sitting an exam, or having a medical test or job interview. During times like these, feeling anxious can be perfectly normal.
 However, some people find it hard to control their worries. Their feelings of anxiety are more constant and can often affect their daily lives.
GAD is a long-term condition that causes you to feel anxious about a wide range of situations and issues, rather than one specific event.

I just want to tell you a little bit about my journey and then discuss the other bits and bobs that I feel are important, things that people might not know, things that help etc. I’ll just take it from the beginning and where I think it first started.

I first noticed signs that something wasn’t right when I was maybe around 15, still at school and now amongst the worry of my GCSE’s. I don’t have the best memory, I just recall it being a very confusing time for me. Looking back, I can notice signs of it much earlier than this, but late school years were definitely when anxiety started to rear it’s ugly head. I wondered why I was so overwhelmed all the time, why I would feel this uncontrollable dread, no matter where I went or what I was doing. I had no idea about mental health at this age and just ignored it and blamed it on the stress of school and expectations you face as a teenager. I would often miss school days because I would get so upset - over literally nothing! I couldn’t pin point what was making me feel that way. When it came around, I even dropped out of sixth form. I felt as though I wasn’t good at anything I chose to study and would get upset most days before going. It was a lot of pressure for me and the stress of that made me miserable, so I took myself out of the situation. 

It took some time but eventually I accepted that it wasn’t just mood swings and had to try and do something about it. I did a bit of a google deep dive in to what I was feeling and experiencing and mental health in general. Every avenue would take me to something called anxiety. At this age I just thought anxiety was just a temporary feeling and not an actual disorder, so I read in to it. I grew to knew the symptoms I was feeling, but didn’t know much about how to prevent or control them. I often suffered from panic attacks at the most random of times, from being alone in my room to being out with friends. Finding myself struggling to catch my breath as I cried, went dizzy and rocked back and forth over what felt like forever, though it probably only lasted 5 or 10 minutes.

The panic attacks became more frequent and I became so fed up of them, so I did take myself to a doctor. I tried many avenues like taking medication, lifestyle changes, even guided meditation, but the thing that helped me the most was counselling.

I went to counselling every week for a couple of months just over a year ago. I can’t explain how weird it is to tell your whole life to someone you’ve never seen before, but I would walk out of there each week with a tremendous weight lifted off of my shoulders. Whilst having one on one therapy I learnt my “triggers” a.k.a some of the situations or circumstances that set off my anxiety, or cause me to panic. This helped me the most, because I know what situations or environments I feel vulnerable in and can prepare myself should I need to face them.
When I felt like the initial stress had been lifted, the counselling did come to a stop. I felt confident enough without it and wanted to see how I got on, on my own. Some of you may find it mad that I stopped something that was obviously helping me, but it’s all a learning curve and I felt great, so I didn’t feel the need to continue.

Up until now I’ve done pretty damn fine with little niggles here and there. Like I discussed at the beginning, my boat has been a little rocked recently and brought back some anxious thoughts and feelings which I’m working through. I have the best support system from my loved ones and friends (thank you, you’re all diamonds) and I’ve currently got back in to some pretty cool counselling again. I won’t dive in to specifics because this post isn’t about that. The way I have been feeling just reminded me that anxiety is a side effect of life, and other people might need help, or want to know more about it, how it can start or different methods of approaching it.

Just to set the scene, here are a couple of examples of the smaller things I struggle with that most people might find odd, or not have even thought someone could worry about:

Travelling an unfamiliar route on public transport:

Whether it’s a different bus service than I’m used to using or a new destination by train, it makes me quite uncomfortable. I have to be meticulous in my planning of timings, how many stops before I get off etc. so that nothing can go wrong. Then I still sit there and worry the whole way! When I feel myself start to panic whilst surrounded by people I don’t know on a crowded, moving vehicle, it does tend to make me want to panic even more. I used to point blank refuse trying new routes or travelling somewhere I don’t know, so I’ve definitely improved on this one and once I can drive, won’t have to do it at all! (every cloud and all that jazz).

Posting anything online:

Yes, even these blog posts. Especially these blog posts, actually. Every time I hit that publish button and share it I feel myself go hot all over - shut my laptop and try to pretend that it doesn’t exist for the next hour. I feel like an idiot every time I post something on Instagram or ask for peoples opinions on my content, but it is something that does pay off and I do overall enjoy immensely. It’s all worthwhile in the end, so I push myself through it and deal with the short term stomach churning feeling of what people will think.

Basically, I still worry until there’s nothing left to worry about, and then I worry some more.. because surely there’s something to worry about, right? Anxiety keeps the cogs in my mind constantly turning, thinking of worst case scenarios in any situation. 

To prevent this, I like to keep my mind busy in order to keep the overthinking at bay. My favourite things to wind my mind down and keep me calm are to watch YouTube videos, spend time with family or have a nap. Everything is better after a nap. Going to the gym reaaaallly helps keep the worries away, no matter how little motivation I have. I also use a method called “grounding” if I ever feel like I need to relax. It’s a 5 senses exercise which helps to distract my mind and I can do it anywhere at any time without anyone knowing that I’m doing it. Great for those busy important meetings you’re stuck in, or a crowded event. 

I’m lucky that I now understand my anxiety more, I know what I need to do if I’m having a low day and I understand the feeling will pass. I realise that this whole page is probably looking quite long and bulky and I appreciate if you’re still reading all the way down here, considering it's not like my usual posts. I’d like to do more on anxiety if this goes down well, perhaps more about mindfulness or more detailed little things that I find help. Let me know what you think.

I apologise that this post is a bit erratic, a bit messy and my timeline of events is all a bit jumbled in my head and on paper (or screen in this case), but it’s all real and from the heart. I am such an open book and would love to hear from you if you have any questions, just drop me a message on any social media. I will link a couple of helpful advice and support websites at the bottom of this page if you’d like some more official information. As I said, I’m only here to tell my personal side. I thought it might be nice to read that the girl you used to go to school with, or the one you work with, or the girl you follow on Twitter is going through the same thing as you or someone you know. I know that it really helps me when I know someone that can relate to my problems. 

Thank you so much for reading!

D x




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